Steve Eggleston Writes

Put Brita on Your Xmas List — The Emperor is Naked!

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Brita is my new hero.

Brita Water Filters clean ordinary tap and stream water through a patented water filtration system that has been around for decades. For a twenty-spot, you can buy a fabulous pitcher or carry-anywhere thermos. https://www.brita.co.uk/.

I’ve seen Brita’s for years, but until recently, I can sadly say I’ve never owned a pitcher or a thermos. As conscious as we are about supporting local and buying organic, for the nearly three years I’ve been in England, we’ve used plastic, bottled water. Finally my wife put her foot down and said, “Steve, bring home a Brita today, please.”

Meanwhile racked with guilt, I do a little math and figure out much toxicity we alone have caused in this time. Our family average is about 5.5 (2 adults, 3-4 children, 1 cat, lots of guests). Each person conservatively consumes about five bottles per day (we refuse to cook with tap water either, for the deleterious particles often found in old pipe systems like ours).

“Alexa,” I say, “what’s 5.5 x 7 days a week?”

Month of Water Bottles

“Steve darling,” she replies, “didn’t you take your maths? That’s 38.5.”

I give her a wink. “Of course, but what’s 38.5 x 5 bottles per day?”

“Oh sweety, you really should be able to do this in your head, what with all of those books you write. Try 192.5.”

Wow, I’m thinking, that’s a lot of water bottles, i.e., plastic, used in one week. “Alexa, what’s-”

She reads my mind. “-192.5 x 52 weeks in a year is 10,010.”

“You’re telling me our single little family uses over 10,000 water bottles per year? That’s, that’s–”

“Criminal?” she says.

“Alexa, how could you–”

“Well Steve Eggleston, you don’t stand alone. Lots of people are colluding with you. Great Britain has a population of 63.786 million people. 63.786 x (10,010 divided by 5.5 = 1,820 bottles per person) = 116,090,520,000.”

“116 billion bottles of plastic are being used every year in Britain alone?”

“Stevie, baby, you should really be ashamed of yourself. You are truly part of the problem, aren’t you?”

“Wait a minute, Alexa, you didn’t discount the people who already use Brita.”

“How many people do you know that use water bottles rather than Brita, Steve Eggleston, you always mounting your high horse? Really, how many?”

“Well, Alexa, first, I’d, I’d… like you to watch your tone, okay? And, and, and, well, I can think of one. Our friend Philly Decker. So there.”

“Haaaaaaaa. One, Steve? Only one? Well, Mr. Eggleston, aka The Eggman, why don’t you do something about it? Like do a post and suggest that everyone on the planet buy a Brita for the one they love for Christmas?”

“Wow, Alexa, what a great idea. How much plastic would that eliminate in a year?…Alexa, how much plastic would that eliminate in a year?”

“I don’t know, Steve Eggleston, why don’t ask your smarty pants readers to do the maths?”

I do. Someone informs me there are about 7,346,235,000 in the world. I do a wag (wild ass guess) and divide that figure by 4 = roughly 1.75 billion. If that equals the number of families, we’re wagging 1.75 billion x 10,000 bottles of plastic a year. Cut it in half on the assumption that half the world isn’t into bottles or consuming in western amounts, we get 1.75 billion x 5,000 = 3,500,000,000,000 bottles of water consumed per year. How much plastic is that?

Image may contain: outdoor

I visited a lake just like this.

One helluva lot of plastic, that’s for sure.

Then I’m reminded by a wise and witty friend, Gabriel Dayan, that Brita is not the end-all, either.  Says Gabriel: “However, if there is a serious water quality problem, higher performance technology would be advisable. It’s worth looking at reverse osmosis, alkaline ionization, distillation, and whatever else is out there, and of course filter out pseudoscience in the quest for the best water cleaning system.”

Brilliant!

Gosh, can you believe The Eggman called the emperor naked? But yes, that’s what The Eggman does. Bounce to my website at SteveEgglestonWrites.com to get an email notification of all that I publish. My articles are largely supported by readers like you, so please share the missives you like, add me on Facebook and Twitter, and toss a quid, dollar, or Bitcoin into my wishing well at PatreonPaypal, or  my Bitcoin Scan Code (coming soon). You might treat yourself and your friends (it is Xmas) to any of my recent books: Conflicted (sole author), Conquering Your Adversities (with Steve), and/or The Fast Diabetes Solution (with Steve). (Look for The Food Mafia on shelves next year).